Bibliography

  • XXVVIII: Romanticize the Grave (in progress)
  • XXVII: Daemons - 2013
  • XXVI: F r a g m e n t s (part III) The Written Word Is Dead - 2013 (published)
  • XXV: F r a g m e n t s (part II) For the Sense Of God - 2013 (published)
  • XXIV: F r a g m e n t s (part I) F r a g m e n t s - 2013 (published)
  • XXIII: Saints Rose - 2013 (published)
  • XXII: Soul's Haven - 2013
  • XXI: The Paradox - 2013 (published)
  • XX: ICONOGRAPHY - 2012
  • XIX: THE OLD EPITAPH - 2012 (published)
  • XVIII: THE CRYPTIC ALTARS - 2012
  • XVII: Seen Through Different Eyes - 2011 (published)
  • XVI: Cemetery of Garlands - 2011 (published)
  • XV: Lunar Heart - 2010 (published)
  • XIV: PAGES FROM ASHES - 2010 (published)
  • XIII: Little Rabbits - 2009 (published)
  • XI-XII: Shepherd's Gray / Forgiveness in Will - 2009 (published)
  • X: Afterlife - 2008 (published)
  • IX: "From A Melancholy Thoughtfulness" - 2008 (published)
  • VIII: Black Rain - 2007 (published)
  • VII: The Silence Within & Out - 2007
  • VI: Observation - 2006 (published)
  • V: Ethereal - 2006
  • IV: Kingdom - 2006
  • III: The Purpose - 05'-06' (published)
  • II: Follow The Art - 04'-05'
  • I: My Sense Of Compassion - 03'-04'

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Blog dedicated to my 21st work in progress The Pardox

Blog dedicated to my 20th Book Iconography

Blog dedicated to my 19th Book THE OLD EPITAPH

Spoken Word Videos on YouTube

Scarify11: In the Flesh Photo Gallery


Of Novembre Days


Life is much too short to not notice when something’s beautiful
It may be standing right in front of us….
It may never be what we expected
But to be alive is all the passion spent
It’s all the ideas we make into something decent…
And I shouldn’t fear enough to show that I really care

But as long as we’re still here
I’m afraid we’re always going to feel the same…

Until the love in your eyes meets mine with a smile
Until we belong to this dream
And the stars in the sky shine through the deepest parts in space
Until our nostalgia grows old enough to hold back the tears
Every time we dwell on the past…

Until we’re old enough to know that nothing can compare
To how we view each others eyes
Differently each and every day.

The lights convey the shadows of the trees
The tress convey my love for words;

Like pages we float
Like paper we burn…
But the memory of us never goes away.

The memory of our dust still scatters in the wind
Long before our thoughts could ever be replaced.

The moon is full, our hearts complete.

Alec Wildey – Nov. 11th, 2010
Lunar Heart © 2010

"Only We Remember"


Of Nights & surrounding darkness

Your thoughts came into frame,
I never bothered to ask you…
Waiting for the silence to break away;
As crowded as it was inside my heart
And the feeling I was never good enough-

As letters spread out
The memories that had failed-
Filled space inside a card board box
Each and every word- every paragraph
Burned
As I revealed my final thoughts…

(There was a significant side of me still writing)

Tell me that it's over...
Tell me that every single poem from here and on
Is missing from a soul
Growing old in the back of your library
Like temporary thoughts…

There is no reason for your blind faith
To give a promise and keep your half.
Your weaknesses are endeavor
And I am no longer- searching for anyone that cares.

I can never look inside
To see what I have done...
I can only wish on honest words
That I have created enough;

To be what I know can bleed
To know what I feel is pain...
To share what is new in life...
To not be afraid of the light.

Take me down from your platform
Understand that the sky is real-
When people hide away from their problems
The world is not dark enough to know-
That your mistakes are any different...
But you are dark and you are cold
And everything you see is lost inside that.

There is nothing more said
To complete us...
They are more than one
Trapped inside a box of thoughts,
Only we remember...

Alec Wildey - February 2010
PAGES FROM ASHES © 2010

Elucidation


The change in me is nothing more than a symptom
Of what has already taken over…
Trying to outlast the sun;
When you’re the fallen
I fall through the darkest part
And when my silence eludes your shadow
It’s quite simple what I’ve become,
If I even care to answer…
I don’t feel I need a word at all.

Memorizing the colours and shapes in a mind- distorted
The hydrocodone slowing down the pulsation in my heart
To feel any pain not even from another
This loss is something you’d never want to know.

Can you see it in my eyes?
Your compassion is fading in the yellow morning sunrise
And I don’t feel any different
When I’m out in this world or when I hide behind closed doors
This reflection is just the image you create.

… … …

Disappearing
Are the wings spread from the rapture…
Flying high among the snow fallen trees
Painted are, the last words written from my hand
The landscape I escape through self medication…

The change in me is nothing more than a symptom
To what has already taken over…
Trying to outlast the sun.

This wind is growing
Separating the colour all around me,
This serenade breaking through
Is the red from the sky as it continues to snow…

When you’re the fallen, I fall through the darkest part
And when my silence eludes your shadow
It’s quite simple what I’ve become,
If I even care to answer…
I don’t feel I need a word at all.

Alec Wildey - Dec 11, 2009
Little Rabbits © 2009

The Final Run


I. “A Smile for the Few”

The subtle dim-
Cold reflection in my eyes

Saw no side of the mirror;
I reached down before the envy

And gave back the crowd my once empty voice…


Silence eroded the sky

As the horizon turned from blood red to gray

We, in one heartbeat felt its strength dwindle to weakness

And displace- the already fading sun.

I, in my reflection
Torn between the voice and all reason

Couldn’t decide for myself
Whether to speak or disregard the rumors

As they became known to me…


You let the curse feel wanted

Huddled in the mass of your own shadow

Your own reflection- don’t let this belong in me.
Settle down, act yourself;
An envision of the light that passes through all beings…


The candlelight flickered out

From the cold air displaced from my window

No place here holds beauty, anymore

It’s just empty space I fill with nothing.

II. Moonlighted Heart

We are heading to the end of all unsung

A page in the book blown free from its others

The sadness mirror image canceled out
From no one knowing the true affliction.

Moonlighted heart-

And rebirth for my ascending fear to rest for good.

Collapse the light you open inside-

To witness the beauty of our passing
Speak now in a room filled with others.

Our beginnings and our endings

Meet as we cross infinity

Speak no longer; and lose yourself in the final run

No need for words, no need for thoughts

Forgiveness is in will.

Reach deep inside- find the rope and climb

From our tunnel we believe only what we see.

III. “Forgiveness in Will”

Take the light

Travel to the end of the earth to pass it by

And forgive yourself, to heal and to let others die.
Forgiveness of your own and passing fears
Will dissolve like smoke,

Breathe in again like night in summer silhouette

Breathe for your ascending spirit to be lifted

Open your heart and rise-

And heal for your forgiveness.


Alec Wildey © Forgiveness in Will

July 2009


In Red.


I know you've changed.
I know the cold still lingers on the outside.

Give me a sign that you’re still breathing
Let me come in and be myself for saving;

Just one reaming breath.

I felt a sickness in the hours that passed
As I laid my head down beneath the surface,
I felt dead to the world at large…
Small in my room in comparison-
To all the people in the crowd;

I was dreaming.

No longer were you dressed in red
As all my blood filled with envy
My last memory of you couldn’t detach
All the pain that caused you to want to leave in the first place…

The maladies belonged to my dreams
Sung in corresponding voices
No distance in volume,
As I plunge into sleep.

I wish the sky would fall off the cliff,
I wish the water would soak into my skin,
To feel safe again.
Here, with you.

I didn’t have much to answer for GOD
I only had questions to ask,
I felt nothing in the daylight of mourning
Nothing but the cold dead look in your eyes…

Once more. I couldn’t grasp;
Not even the slightest thump of a heartbeat
To keep my true feelings for showing on the outside.

If someone said “sleep now, you’ll forever be in peace”
I’d close my eyes and forget my place.

You know, in all the time,
In all the time, I’ve wandered through
I’ve known it was all in red.
So please don’t be my love,
In all that I see; please don’t bleed my love
I know it has to be….

Give me a chance to see that there is more…
Give me a sign that you’re still breathing
Let me come in and be myself for saving…
If there isn’t anyone else…

“I wish the sky would fall off the cliff,
I wish the water would soak into my skin,
To feel safe again.
Here, with you.”

Alec Wildey © Shepherd's Gray
Feb-June 2009
Inspired by: SW – Bass Communion & Bjork

Ex Templo De Santa Teresa


I felt the cold
The way it use to sink into my skin

And wear me out through the core.

I have so many regrets

The torture they are to live with,

With no strength inside to change.

And all the love there is to bless

These hands they use to pray

For only now I can’t look past…

What is life?

And what is real?

God I beg for your forgiveness-

If only you knew that I meant well.


All my people and all their conversations

Were spoke in hopeless tongues

Poor means to find wisdom for example,

And hard to forgive

When so much damage is done.


Give me the eyesight to see that all is wanted

Rest the needle on my shell to open my heart up.

And be just as I see the end of the rope...


And give me back what I fear

And let me know that I’m still here

Let the day be the night

Just as long as I’m not right- this time.

Let me step among the new light

One that has faith in difference and in mankind.


Because I know that I’m not alone,

God knows there is a word somewhere

The remnants of my soul and heart -there’s blood.

But no-one knows why there’s reason to bleed for-

The suffering of this world.


... ... ...


Rush by way of movements- calm this frantic heart

To feel both alive and well again,

If only it’s one day, one moment in my life...


Let your dreams unfold

And your light be born

Sleep forever young

And be forever strong

For as long as you have this disease

There is life beyond the pain

A path to walk below

To all the places you will dream…


So give me back what I fear
And let me know that I’m still here

Let the day be the night

Just as long as I’m not right- this time.


... ... ...


I will open the door

To float free from all the endless ones

To reach out in their hearts

And to hear your voice from the altars- of this church…

I feel the needle against my shell

And a prayer among words

I cannot grasp to speak out loud.


What is life?

And what is real?

God I beg for your forgiveness

If only you knew that I meant well.

Alec Wildey © Afterlife
December 21, 2008

Inspired by: Steven Wilson’s “Insurgentes”

"Epiphany"

We have gone so far, believing there is nothing we can do
To save ourselves
Remembering to escape, but there’s no easy way out,
To break the fall.

I think we may have reached a break in the road,
There’s no place for me to hide anymore-
No place to go;
To pretend that your not there, like it was before…
My head keeps spinning around- pounding
Reliving moments that just can’t be made undone.
I’ve tried to clear a path for you,
Make you someone…
But I can’t tell you all these things
I want to,
I need to,
Without feeling love.

I have left the books on the shelf
Not planning to read what I wrote to someone else.
I can hear my own voice repeating down the hallway-
Speaking to an impossible friend-
Echos from words left behind,
A memory of a phrase caught in the wind.

And all the while- distance comes through the wire.
So cold;
We try to makeup-
I fail to break up- myself.
To dissolve in your smile…

It’s such a cruel world to me this way
I feel I don’t have a purpose to breathe,
I feel the rain- as if it were a part of me, somehow
I try to believe- there’s hope for us,
Hope for pain- to leave for good.

And to hear your prayers.
And to see you there
With your heart this way…

No longer will the light shine for me in my secret place
Holding my head up high,
Counting the moments as they stream towards the light-
Fading away.

I can hear my own voice repeating down the hallway
Speaking to you, an impossible friend-
Echo’s from words left behind,
A memory of a phrase caught in the wind.

No matter what they are,
I’ll leave them alone for now
To feel simple again…
In a room that’s filled so hollow,
I can’t escape myself even if I tried.

You know there something’s stubborn in us- always.

Alec Wildey © 2008
part of “From A Melancholy Thoughtfulness”