Bibliography

  • XXVVIII: Romanticize the Grave (in progress)
  • XXVII: Daemons - 2013
  • XXVI: F r a g m e n t s (part III) The Written Word Is Dead - 2013 (published)
  • XXV: F r a g m e n t s (part II) For the Sense Of God - 2013 (published)
  • XXIV: F r a g m e n t s (part I) F r a g m e n t s - 2013 (published)
  • XXIII: Saints Rose - 2013 (published)
  • XXII: Soul's Haven - 2013
  • XXI: The Paradox - 2013 (published)
  • XX: ICONOGRAPHY - 2012
  • XIX: THE OLD EPITAPH - 2012 (published)
  • XVIII: THE CRYPTIC ALTARS - 2012
  • XVII: Seen Through Different Eyes - 2011 (published)
  • XVI: Cemetery of Garlands - 2011 (published)
  • XV: Lunar Heart - 2010 (published)
  • XIV: PAGES FROM ASHES - 2010 (published)
  • XIII: Little Rabbits - 2009 (published)
  • XI-XII: Shepherd's Gray / Forgiveness in Will - 2009 (published)
  • X: Afterlife - 2008 (published)
  • IX: "From A Melancholy Thoughtfulness" - 2008 (published)
  • VIII: Black Rain - 2007 (published)
  • VII: The Silence Within & Out - 2007
  • VI: Observation - 2006 (published)
  • V: Ethereal - 2006
  • IV: Kingdom - 2006
  • III: The Purpose - 05'-06' (published)
  • II: Follow The Art - 04'-05'
  • I: My Sense Of Compassion - 03'-04'

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Blog dedicated to my 21st work in progress The Pardox

Blog dedicated to my 20th Book Iconography

Blog dedicated to my 19th Book THE OLD EPITAPH

Spoken Word Videos on YouTube

Scarify11: In the Flesh Photo Gallery


Accident of Life


There's something to be said
To stare at an intimate object...
And think about what it means
Until nothing makes sense;

You know I thought of this life in so many ways?
Felt I could achieve anything in my youth 
When the world seemed so little ... 
But it pulls you in, dissolves all matter 
Within its loss love, there are no "real" connections 
And now I can't see any of the things I saw. 
Nothing ever as significant. 

But to them, all being is ignored. 
To me all silence in life, is thereafter. 
Don't awaken my ghost. 
Don't wait for my soul to re-enter. 
I may never return home. 

May never return to your laughter. 
Something bright when all seems dark. 

I'll just stay beside you, 
When all the rain in the world
Couldn't make you up... 
Dry away the tears I am numb to 
And fear the rest may overcome. 

If all this gift is, has no promise; 

Than my farewell remains an accident. 
A accident of life. 
And if my will, would refrain from desperate behavior 
Maybe some strength would open the door? 

Something innocent still remains here, beautiful... 
Something lost among your heart's hall beats for my endeavor 
And yet our ropes end remains tied. 

You know I thought of this life in so many ways. 

Alec Wildey - May 13, 2011
From my Book "Seen Through Different Eyes"

In the Forgotten

Maybe if I could feel even more melancholic
My heart could grow to heal you
Maybe if my soul could be saved,
We could move on instead of right here, in the forgotten…

There's nothing more for your words to be a prayer but not a voice
Or your thoughts to be alive but not perdition;
I grow to darkness just one rebirth...
To the old spot on the hill asking the clouds to answer
Suffering the old dead memories dead again and dead again...
Just to see your reaction and your familiar face...
Just to know that we were both unhappy.



There’s a small gap between
What is growing and what is rotting away.
And we’re afraid to fit in;

For what we hope may never happen
For what we fear may never take place
There’s always a little sign that something good
Will come out of suffering,
But to never fully heal makes it difficult to believe.

Maybe if I felt even more melancholic,
The music would be beautiful enough to capture with words
Maybe if those words meant something meaningful to someone
I could move on instead of right here, in the forgotten…

I grow in darkness just one rebirth more...
To the old spot on the grave asking the clouds to uncover
Suffering the old dead memories dead again and dead again...
Just to see your reaction and your familiar face...
Just to feel that what unhappiness was…
Could have been happiness
If we both allowed one another to be saved.

Because a smile was all I ever needed
Just to know that in this life it wasn’t all meaningless.
There's nothing more for your words to be a prayer but not a voice
Or your thoughts to be alive but not perdition;

I grow to darkness just one rebirth...
To the old spot on the hill asking the clouds to uncover.

Alec Wildey – 2011
Cemetery of Garlands © 2010-2011

Of Novembre Days


Life is much too short to not notice when something’s beautiful
It may be standing right in front of us….
It may never be what we expected
But to be alive is all the passion spent
It’s all the ideas we make into something decent…
And I shouldn’t fear enough to show that I really care

But as long as we’re still here
I’m afraid we’re always going to feel the same…

Until the love in your eyes meets mine with a smile
Until we belong to this dream
And the stars in the sky shine through the deepest parts in space
Until our nostalgia grows old enough to hold back the tears
Every time we dwell on the past…

Until we’re old enough to know that nothing can compare
To how we view each others eyes
Differently each and every day.

The lights convey the shadows of the trees
The tress convey my love for words;

Like pages we float
Like paper we burn…
But the memory of us never goes away.

The memory of our dust still scatters in the wind
Long before our thoughts could ever be replaced.

The moon is full, our hearts complete.

Alec Wildey – Nov. 11th, 2010
Lunar Heart © 2010

"Only We Remember"


Of Nights & surrounding darkness

Your thoughts came into frame,
I never bothered to ask you…
Waiting for the silence to break away;
As crowded as it was inside my heart
And the feeling I was never good enough-

As letters spread out
The memories that had failed-
Filled space inside a card board box
Each and every word- every paragraph
Burned
As I revealed my final thoughts…

(There was a significant side of me still writing)

Tell me that it's over...
Tell me that every single poem from here and on
Is missing from a soul
Growing old in the back of your library
Like temporary thoughts…

There is no reason for your blind faith
To give a promise and keep your half.
Your weaknesses are endeavor
And I am no longer- searching for anyone that cares.

I can never look inside
To see what I have done...
I can only wish on honest words
That I have created enough;

To be what I know can bleed
To know what I feel is pain...
To share what is new in life...
To not be afraid of the light.

Take me down from your platform
Understand that the sky is real-
When people hide away from their problems
The world is not dark enough to know-
That your mistakes are any different...
But you are dark and you are cold
And everything you see is lost inside that.

There is nothing more said
To complete us...
They are more than one
Trapped inside a box of thoughts,
Only we remember...

Alec Wildey - February 2010
PAGES FROM ASHES © 2010

Elucidation


The change in me is nothing more than a symptom
Of what has already taken over…
Trying to outlast the sun;
When you’re the fallen
I fall through the darkest part
And when my silence eludes your shadow
It’s quite simple what I’ve become,
If I even care to answer…
I don’t feel I need a word at all.

Memorizing the colours and shapes in a mind- distorted
The hydrocodone slowing down the pulsation in my heart
To feel any pain not even from another
This loss is something you’d never want to know.

Can you see it in my eyes?
Your compassion is fading in the yellow morning sunrise
And I don’t feel any different
When I’m out in this world or when I hide behind closed doors
This reflection is just the image you create.

… … …

Disappearing
Are the wings spread from the rapture…
Flying high among the snow fallen trees
Painted are, the last words written from my hand
The landscape I escape through self medication…

The change in me is nothing more than a symptom
To what has already taken over…
Trying to outlast the sun.

This wind is growing
Separating the colour all around me,
This serenade breaking through
Is the red from the sky as it continues to snow…

When you’re the fallen, I fall through the darkest part
And when my silence eludes your shadow
It’s quite simple what I’ve become,
If I even care to answer…
I don’t feel I need a word at all.

Alec Wildey - Dec 11, 2009
Little Rabbits © 2009

The Final Run


I. “A Smile for the Few”

The subtle dim-
Cold reflection in my eyes

Saw no side of the mirror;
I reached down before the envy

And gave back the crowd my once empty voice…


Silence eroded the sky

As the horizon turned from blood red to gray

We, in one heartbeat felt its strength dwindle to weakness

And displace- the already fading sun.

I, in my reflection
Torn between the voice and all reason

Couldn’t decide for myself
Whether to speak or disregard the rumors

As they became known to me…


You let the curse feel wanted

Huddled in the mass of your own shadow

Your own reflection- don’t let this belong in me.
Settle down, act yourself;
An envision of the light that passes through all beings…


The candlelight flickered out

From the cold air displaced from my window

No place here holds beauty, anymore

It’s just empty space I fill with nothing.

II. Moonlighted Heart

We are heading to the end of all unsung

A page in the book blown free from its others

The sadness mirror image canceled out
From no one knowing the true affliction.

Moonlighted heart-

And rebirth for my ascending fear to rest for good.

Collapse the light you open inside-

To witness the beauty of our passing
Speak now in a room filled with others.

Our beginnings and our endings

Meet as we cross infinity

Speak no longer; and lose yourself in the final run

No need for words, no need for thoughts

Forgiveness is in will.

Reach deep inside- find the rope and climb

From our tunnel we believe only what we see.

III. “Forgiveness in Will”

Take the light

Travel to the end of the earth to pass it by

And forgive yourself, to heal and to let others die.
Forgiveness of your own and passing fears
Will dissolve like smoke,

Breathe in again like night in summer silhouette

Breathe for your ascending spirit to be lifted

Open your heart and rise-

And heal for your forgiveness.


Alec Wildey © Forgiveness in Will

July 2009


In Red.


I know you've changed.
I know the cold still lingers on the outside.

Give me a sign that you’re still breathing
Let me come in and be myself for saving;

Just one reaming breath.

I felt a sickness in the hours that passed
As I laid my head down beneath the surface,
I felt dead to the world at large…
Small in my room in comparison-
To all the people in the crowd;

I was dreaming.

No longer were you dressed in red
As all my blood filled with envy
My last memory of you couldn’t detach
All the pain that caused you to want to leave in the first place…

The maladies belonged to my dreams
Sung in corresponding voices
No distance in volume,
As I plunge into sleep.

I wish the sky would fall off the cliff,
I wish the water would soak into my skin,
To feel safe again.
Here, with you.

I didn’t have much to answer for GOD
I only had questions to ask,
I felt nothing in the daylight of mourning
Nothing but the cold dead look in your eyes…

Once more. I couldn’t grasp;
Not even the slightest thump of a heartbeat
To keep my true feelings for showing on the outside.

If someone said “sleep now, you’ll forever be in peace”
I’d close my eyes and forget my place.

You know, in all the time,
In all the time, I’ve wandered through
I’ve known it was all in red.
So please don’t be my love,
In all that I see; please don’t bleed my love
I know it has to be….

Give me a chance to see that there is more…
Give me a sign that you’re still breathing
Let me come in and be myself for saving…
If there isn’t anyone else…

“I wish the sky would fall off the cliff,
I wish the water would soak into my skin,
To feel safe again.
Here, with you.”

Alec Wildey © Shepherd's Gray
Feb-June 2009
Inspired by: SW – Bass Communion & Bjork